A Beauty Blog...

Monday, 20 February 2017

5 Reasons Why I Have a Love/ Hate Relationship With Social Media...

Today's post is a different one for me, and one I have been meaning to write for a while now. Social media has invaded our lives over the past 10 years, and is now something that consumes us, and to an extent, we can't (or at least think we can't) live without. As a blogger, I use social media platforms such as Instagram and Twitter daily, to amongst other things, help direct traffic to my blog, and although I do enjoy having a little scroll/ stalk at others pages, it does sometimes drive me mad. Today I thought I would have a little rant/ ramble about my biggest bugbears are when it comes to life online.

1) Special moments are no longer private
Now don't get me wrong, I do love a happy announcement, and will always give the thumbs up on Facebook when I see that a friend of mine has got engaged or is expecting a baby, however sometimes I wonder how long certain people cherished that moment with their loved ones before putting the news on social media. I'll often see posts saying things like 'this just happened' with an obligatory engagement ring picture, and it does make me feel sad that one of the first things that person has felt the need to do is broadcast it online for the world to see. I guess I do understand the whole social media announcement to an extent, when you are happy and excited you want to share your news with the world, but sometimes it seems that updating a Facebook status is the first thing some people do, which I find really sad.

2) Mobile phones are now acceptable dinner table additions
When was the last time you went for dinner out, or at a friends house, and didn't see someone on their mobile phone? My guess is a long time ago. Everyone seems to now have a smart phone, and this means that we have everything at our fingertips- a camera, social media, the internet, and everything in between. It seems that we can no longer enjoy a dinner without the addition of mobile phones on the table, and that we can't go an hour or 2 without them. It have to put my hands up and say that I am completely guilty of this, and although it is socially acceptable to have your phone in your hand at all times, it is something that I making a conscious effort to stop doing. In addition to this, and another thing I have 100% guilty of, is refraining from having a sip of my drink, or a bite of my food (or not letting anyone else) until the perfect picture has been captured, or the situation has been added to Snapchat or Insta stories. It annoys me that we can no longer just enjoy an evening and let things flow without holding things up through taking pictures of food!

3) You are judged on your social media following
This is one that is more relevant to blogging, rather than my private life. I've seen the same thing happen so many times at blogger events, and it makes me feel so disheartened. If you've never been to a blogger event, then the norm is that you tend to try and talk to everyone there, and will almost always swap social media handles and follow each other. Most of the bloggers I've met are so lovely, however a couple of times, particularly when I was new to blogging and had hardly any followers, the tone of conversation has changed after they had found me on social media and seen how many followers I had. It's like in that split second they realise that I'm not a 'big time blogger' and therefore I am no use to them. The conversation will often end abruptly, and I see them move onto the next person. It's almost like you are only of interest if you have a big social media following- what happened to just being a nice person and having a chat?

4) Life Online Can Be Deceiving

As we all know, people publish the best versions of themselves online. Whether it is adding extra filters to photos to make themselves look prettier/ more flawless/ thinner/ curvier, using certain hashtags (#bestboyfriendever springs to mind and makes me want to puke) or painting a perfect image of an otherwise less than perfect situation, we've all done it. Let's be honest, those double chinned selfies, our Saturday nights in front of the telly in old Pjs or nights out that have ended in tears just aren't going to make the cut. I think most people have had moments of feeling inadequate/ jealous/ worthless when they see people with seemingly perfect lives on social media, and it especially worries me when it comes to the next generation of young women. They are so used to seeing images of perfect women leading perfect lives, that I hope they can distinguish the 'real' from the 'edited.'

5) Attention Seeking Posts

Now, you could argue that anything you post on social media is, to an extent, attention seeking, but you have to agree that some are a LOT worse than others, and can be so cringeworthy that I have to scroll past ASAP. I get it, when you’ve had a bad day or are feeling a bit down and a selfie you’ve posted gets a few likes, it is a confidence boost. In fact, a recent study found that getting likes on social media releases dopamine in the brain- this is the same chemical that is released when you take drugs or win at gambling- how crazy is that?! You can see why people get addicted to the feeling of receiving ‘likes,’ particularly if they are from peers that they admire, or their crushes, and because of this end up posting more frequently, and want each post to get more likes. This explains those posts that might as well just have the caption 'tell me I look pretty please!'

What do you love/ hate the most about social media? Are you guilty of any of the above?

To see ALL of my attention seeking posts (!), give My So Kohl'd Life a little follow on InstagramTwitter & Bloglovin.'



  1. I really hate when people use phones at dinner, but its just the norm now. Great post!

    Annabel ♥
    Mascara & Maltesers

    1. Hi Annabel, me too (even though I am guilty of it sometimes) x

  2. I couldn't agree with this post more! It's so frustrating when you want to connect with people and they're just sat engrossed on their phone. I also hate that judgement of amount of followers. I loved this post and I love your blog name, so clever haha!

    Beckie xo // The Pale Tails

    1. Hi Beckie, thanks for your comment! Yes, it is annoying, especially when it is so accepted to have your eyes glued to your phone 24/7. And haha, thank you, glad you like my blog name :) x

  3. So much yes to all this. I have a love hate relationship also however i do feel I contradict myself also.lol At home, phones at dinner table is a no for me. Or at least using them whilst eating. However, when I'm out with friends etc, it seems perfectly acceptable..
    As for life being deceiving, again, so true, however I'm a bit of a hypercit in that I want to see rawness and people being their true selves, showing they own sweats and sit on a couch with a bowl of ice cream from time time, show a more reliable side.. However, this is something apart on Instastories, that I don't do myself.
    Blogging seems to have evolved from being an online journal, warts and all, to online magazines. I for one have/am going along with this change, but I do question why from time to time.lol


    1. Hi Caroline,

      Wow, thank you for taking the time to leave such a long comment. I am exactly the same- a walking contradiction when it comes to social media! I'm glad you enjoyed my post and thank you again for taking the time to read and comment.

      Beth xxx

  4. The fact that some Bloggers were not nice to you shows them up! Keep doing what you do; they give us all a bad name.



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